Most of us tend to think that temper tantrums are a part of the emotional growth of young children, but tantrums that are violent involving hitting, kicking, biting could be a serious cause of concern in some cases indicating even disorders like ADHD or autism.
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Starting to understand the reasons for toddler tantrums hitting, you would find that some toddlers start off with being amused and curious, with temper tantrums with hitting could also subside with being sternly communicated to be undesirable or punished with a time out.
Defining toddler tantrum hitting, he/she would like to maintain or regain control of a situation. Next such a toddler may do it for attention with notice and wanting to take advantage of the reactions of people around him/her. The next reason could be that he/she thinks that others are causing the problem, when they are responsible. Some toddlers could also have a lot of negativity like anger and conflict and crave to be masters. Once these reasons are understood, it would be possible to handle toddler hitting tantrums.
Handling toddlers hitting tantrums
1.You must have definitely heard right from childhood that it takes 2 to make a quarrel, so the best attitude as a smart parent would be to just remain calm
when your toddler is creating a scene banging doors, holding his breath, hitting and screaming. Trying to yell or punish toddlers would only aggravate the situation, so just be the boss with being firm yet reassuring. This is very essential because he/she is frustrated, confused and believes that attracting attention helps.
2.You would sure be agitated yourself when your toddler is on a hitting tantrum, but there is no use in trying to control him/her then. Being firm means showing your toddler that hitting, yelling and screaming does not work. Being reassuring lies in your human touch in bringing calmness to him/her by hugging or smothering his/her cry and frustration. Rational talking with holding your toddler would be able to make him understand his anger and reasons why he should not behave in a certain way.
3.Sometimes you may be smart enough to find that a tantrum of hitting is making its way, then just distract him/her from the triggers and divert the attention to things that your toddler likes like picture and story books, his/her favorite toy or maybe some other interesting activity. This would definitely help to make your toddler cool down, but it could not work when the toddler is already on a violent tantrum. Then it would be best to leave him safe in the room for a few minutes all alone.
4.When toddler hitting tantrums take the form of hitting just for fun with a smile on his /her face it means it is making the toddler feel great. It would help you to just walk away with no expression at all on your face or stand some distance away from him/her and just observe that he or she is safe. Not providing direct attention would show the toddler you do not care and will encourage him/her to turn calm. You can then again start doing what you were doing. It would be good to say something empathic as you walk out removing things that could hurt the toddler.
5.All of us need correction as much as praise for things we obey or do well, and this applies to your toddler also. Praising him/her when one behaves or plays well will motivate your toddler to make you happy and receive praise as well as treats. A balance of praise in the form of stars drawn in the hand, or praise like saying cute baby words along with hugs, cuddling and kisses would help instill better behavior.
You can then surely have handled your toddler tantrums hitting and made him/her proud of oneself.